For My Parents
On the quiet revolution of realizing your parents were once children too. And what we inherit when we finally let ourselves see them that way.
It's funny, but one day I noticed that I seldom conjure up the thought that my parents and all generations before them were once babies. It's a simple thought, really, but quite profound.
A lot of us are entering a new stage of life with our parents. Once upon a time, our parents were our saviors and protectors and now they are passing on their torches to allow us to become those roles for them. The transition is subtle, almost silent. One day you'll turn around and realize that your parents have aged. They slow down, wrinkles add new dimensions onto their face, and a sense of surrender seems to coat their bodies, decisions, and words.
Looking back at a video Jeffrey J. Matos and I collaborated on in February 2019 titled "For My Parents," I wanted to take the time to reflect and share some observations. Everyone has a unique history with their parents. Some good, some bad, some sweet, some bland. However, the child-parent connection is quite a unique one. I'll be sharing my perspective as a child of immigrant parents.
When you take a moment to truly sit with the fact that your parents uprooted their lives to seek better opportunities in another land, the cultural differences and misunderstandings that may have flourished in your adolescence are drowned out by the sheer power of true inspiration.
I asked myself the question that my mother, father, and stepfather probably asked themselves when they were young before coming to the place that I now call home. And I'm left wondering if I would face the challenge with the same amount of courage and hunger they once had. The truth is that I can only hear and imagine how strong the urge and how difficult the circumstances must have been for them to leave a place that was home to their friends, family, culture, music, and language.
Children and parents have a circular connection. Like the changes of seasons, you'll be able to eventually tell the passing of time. Parents seem to know everything about us and yet we know so little about them. We know the version of them that they want or wanted us to see. My grandmother knows my mother in ways that I'll never know and yet I know my mother in a way my grandmother will never understand. Therefore, I invite myself and others to lean into gratitude, honor, and respect because there are so many sacrifices and decisions our parents have made in search for a brighter future. One of the biggest and most important inheritances that our parents leave us with is the freedom to act upon a dream without limitation. Thanks to them we were given the opportunity to achieve the things that they, at our age, only visited in their sleep.